Behind

I am behind on a list of things.   Deep down inside I secretly wonder if my girls have installed a hidden camera somewhere and the minute I get a chance to catch my breath or even take one milli-second to sit down, they spring into action and another catastrophe breaks out.  It is as if my butt hitting the cushions of the chair sends a silent alarm, audible only to those under the age of 6, and my girls think to themselves Not so fast Mommy!

So, for those of you wondering what the Vehorns have been up to recently (or not so recently), I thought I would update my blog.   At least then, I will feel like my "behind" list will be shortened. So....we have kept busy doing the following things -

Freezing

We started 2010 out with snow up to our knees - literally!

   We made a snowman and drank our fair share of hot chocolate.     

Pretending

We spent a lot of time playing dress-up in Mimi's basement.  Fortunately, Mimi Joyce kept every stitch of dance attire ever acquired by me and my sisters.   There is never a lack of sparkle, spandex, and sass!! And yes, sometimes when things get a little crazy, there may be a chunck of underpants hanging out at the bottom.  But we don't mind, we are still FABULOUS! 

Dancing
Every Monday we go to Ballet.   The best part of this = the leotard and tights!  Someday (I am hoping) my girls may outgrow their desire to wear skin-tight pink outfits that hug every curve.  But right now, I enjoy every minute they spend flaunting it and admiring themselves in the mirror.  They aren't critical of themselves, each other, or other people.  That is something I hope they never outgrow!!   

   Celebrating

We celebrated Brooke's 5th Birthday.   Of course - she decided on a princess theme!

We discovered during the girl's pictures with their cousins that Morgan doesn't understand what it means to "Smile really big!"   Gotta love the effort. 

We also celebrated Baby Claire's Baptism.   I am finally a Godmother!   My girls are certainly smitten with Baby Claire and every time she visits, they drop not-so-subtle hints that they want a baby sister.  For now, Claire is going to have to do! 

Snuggling and Cuddling

There has also been time to cuddle up in our Snuggies.  Or, sometimes it is just as nice to cuddle with a sister. 

Visiting

We have been visiting Grove City and trying to spend time with our neighbors.  Brooke dearly misses her neighborhood friend Kate. 

Making New Friends

Morgan is very close in age to the boy next door.  They decided it was safer to hold hand when we walked to the playground.  Brooke has already decided that most boy have cooties.  But, she is quick to point out that Daddy and Grandpa are the exception. 

Night Out   

My sister Lynn is getting married in May.  So, I figure that justifies at least one ladies night out on the town!   What a blast.  We had a great time downtown - just the girls!!   

I am sure that there are plenty of other things I could add to my list, but for now, I am going to check "Update Blog" off of my list and take the kids to McDonalds. 

The Plan

When Phil and I got married and started our life, we had a general idea about our future. We would buy our first house, have a few kids, work hard to establish ourselves as good employees, and when our oldest was about to start kindergarten, we would move back to the area we always called "home." Because we both grew up in small communities, we have always envisioned raising our family in the same sort of setting. So, this year, we took the proverbial leap of faith. After I was offered a job in the area, we spent a few sleepless nights mulling over the decision, we leapt & trusted that God would work things out.

Things started to fall into place...

Even though I had to start the school year off with Phil still in Grove City, I was blessed to have my parents' support and help. The school year started off great. I loved my students - so well-behaved and eager to learn!

Phil landed a job with a nearby construction company and moved in with us in October.

Then we hit some speed bumps. Our house was sitting on the market day after day. Phil wasn't quite sure that his new position was a good fit. The kids still cried almost every night because they missed the kids from our neighborhood. We couldn't find a house in the area that fit our needs and our budget. We were worn-out, frustrated, stressed, and lost.

We began to doubt the plan. Do we really want this? Is it worth it? Are we making the right decision?

As the turmoil swirled around in our life, I noticed something about myself, my family, and my husband. First of all, I realized that I am really blessed. I have taken so much for granted in the past, always thinking that "the best is yet to come." I am not sure that I spend enough time living in the moment. I am always hungry for more. Waiting for the next best thing. Never satisfied. Never allowing myself to simply be happy with my current situation. So, I made the decision to be happy - even if life handed me a curve ball. I realized that my family would always be close no matter the miles between us. A close family has nothing to do with geography. And probably the most valuable lesson I learned during the stress was a lesson of love. I learned that, when tested, a marriage can either crumble or become even stronger. I think about our love like a muscle. When you work it, test it, strain it, or even push it to uncomfortable limits, it increases in strengths and feels more prepared for future tests.

Eventually we had to make the decision to call off the plan and seek stability. We took our house off the market, Phil moved back to Grove City and started to work for M/I Homes again, and I began the job search in and around the Columbus area.

No, it is not what we had planned. But, I cannot help but think that God, of course, knows more than me. He guides me to situations that act as teachable moments. These situations are not always comfortable, fun, or even planned.

Perhaps I have been confused this entire time. I once thought that I was able to plan my life. If I worked hard, stayed true to myself and made decisons, life would go down the road I chose. How arrogant and overly-confident I have been! Through this experience I have found how truly helpless I am as a single human being. It is not that God refused to help me or turned a blind eye to my problems. And it wasn't that He ignored my prayers. Maybe He just doesn't have the same plan in mind.  I don't always understand the reason or the meaning behind the plan, but in this instance, I think perhaps I was taught to be more appreciative and content in my simple, normal, everyday life.

Someday, Tomorrow, Eventually....

I have always been a procrastinator. SOMEDAY I hope to change this habit and be ahead of schedule.  Something tells me that (if my mom has her way) I am in for a few late night projects with my own children after they reveal that it is due TOMORROW!  I think I have always been one that works well under pressure and I need the clock ticking to make me focus. EVENTUALLY, I find ways to get it all done.   As a teacher I have tried to teach my students to "do as I say and not as I do," because procrastination is not a habit I am proud of.   Still, at this time in my life, I feel that this procrastination gene has been a bit helpful. We have put a few things on hold until TOMORROW.   We are putting off decisions and putting off large purchases.   We are in a holding pattern. SOMEDAY, when we move into our next house, we will put a swingset up on our backyard.  TOMORROW, we hope to get a call from our realtor asking us to accept a bid on our house.   EVENTUALLY, we will be able to unpack the boxes that sit in our basement ready to be moved. 

Still, I find joy in TODAY.   I must.   Because SOMEDAY my girls will be teenagers, then young ladies, and then women. And TOMORROW is one step closer to that reality.  EVENTUALLY, I will look back at the years that have flown by and wonder why I wished for TOMORROW.  So... I hold them tight and live in the moments of TODAY.        

The Important Things

I am trying to remind myself of the important things in life.  It is easy for me to get down on life these days.   Transitions in life are not simple, and I think I may be worse at change than the average person.   When we made the decision to move, we knew that it was a process that might take some time.  We knew that there were some things that were out of our control.  Still, those things that are beyond our control can sometimes keep us awake at night, haunt our thoughts during the day, and wear us down so that we have little to no patience to deal with the day-to-day stresses that are to be expected.  So, I thought I would make a list of my blessings.

In no particular order:

1. My kids - They are healthy, happy, and full of energy

2. My husband - Thank God I found someone that can put up with my craziness

3. My job - I truly do wake up everyday excited to go to work.  

4. My parents - They have kept me from living "in a van down by the river"

5. My sisters - They keep me grounded and give me things to look forward to (i.e. wedding, baby, and visits from my niece and nephews.)

6. My in-laws - Luckily I have always felt like part of the family and not just a visitor.

7. My husband's job - Finding a job these days is not an easy task, so we feel blessed to have him with us and working in his field.

8.  Health - Everyone has avoided the really awful flu thus far!  (knockin on wood as I type that one!!)

9.  My Friends - Here and there.  I know I have people I can call just to complain, celebrate, or gossip. 

10. Holidays around the corner - Nothing better than pumpkin pie, turkey, stuffing, and cookies to make you feel better!!

11.  Black Friday Shopping  - Enough said. 

 Hmmm..... That felt good.  

The Flu

How helpless it feels to be a mother of a flu-sick child.  Between sticking a thermometer under her arm, covering her with blankets and holding her hair out of her face when she tries to puke, I am really just being useless!  I want to wave that magic wand they handed me when I had my first child.  You know, that one that is supposed to make all of the aches and pains go away with a kiss & a hug.  Its that one that when waved makes the tears dry up and sleep come easy.  It is that one that makes the fever go away and the smile return. 

You mean you didn't get one?

 Hmmmm.... Guess I was the only one.   Now, if only I could find it!

Deep Breaths

I am freaking out about the move. I am freaking out about the change. I don't do change really well.

I find myself taking deep breaths a few times each day. I just stop and B-R-E-A-T-H-E. I close my eyes and put all of the self-doubt, worry, frustration, uncertainty, and "to-do" lists out of my mind and focus. For a split second I forget that I am scared. I forget that I am worried about EVERYTHING. I don't ask questions or let myself be overcome by "What if's." It is a vacation of sorts. A little getaway from the reality.

Sure, it is true that this reality has been brought on by our own decisions. We decided to move. We decided that it was time for us to make this step. We decided to list our home and search for one two hours away. Still, there are times when I wonder if that makes it harder? There is no one to blame if things go wrong. We cannot be the victims. We are choosing this for ourselves and at times, that is what scares me the most.

Knowing that we are leaving neighbors we have grown to love. Knowing that we are selling a house that has witnessed all 7 years of our marriage. Knowing that our kids will be leaving the place they have called home their entire lives. Knowing that I am giving up a job I love for a job I may or may not. Knowing that Phil doesn't have a job near me and may not have one for months. All of these things make this choice a difficult and scary one. I just keep taking breaths.

Yum

Morgan love Pumpkin Bread. Apparently, Morgan REALLY LOVES Pumpkin bread!

She loves it sooooo much that she could not ask for another piece...No, that would take too long. She simply took it upon herself to snatch a piece.

And just when she thought it was the perfect crime....Evidence was found lingering on her face!

She is so proud!

Us? Yeah, we are kinda proud too!!