When Phil and I got married and started our life, we had a general idea about our future. We would buy our first house, have a few kids, work hard to establish ourselves as good employees, and when our oldest was about to start kindergarten, we would move back to the area we always called "home." Because we both grew up in small communities, we have always envisioned raising our family in the same sort of setting. So, this year, we took the proverbial leap of faith. After I was offered a job in the area, we spent a few sleepless nights mulling over the decision, we leapt & trusted that God would work things out.
Things started to fall into place...
Even though I had to start the school year off with Phil still in Grove City, I was blessed to have my parents' support and help. The school year started off great. I loved my students - so well-behaved and eager to learn!
Phil landed a job with a nearby construction company and moved in with us in October.
Then we hit some speed bumps. Our house was sitting on the market day after day. Phil wasn't quite sure that his new position was a good fit. The kids still cried almost every night because they missed the kids from our neighborhood. We couldn't find a house in the area that fit our needs and our budget. We were worn-out, frustrated, stressed, and lost.
We began to doubt the plan. Do we really want this? Is it worth it? Are we making the right decision?
As the turmoil swirled around in our life, I noticed something about myself, my family, and my husband. First of all, I realized that I am really blessed. I have taken so much for granted in the past, always thinking that "the best is yet to come." I am not sure that I spend enough time living in the moment. I am always hungry for more. Waiting for the next best thing. Never satisfied. Never allowing myself to simply be happy with my current situation. So, I made the decision to be happy - even if life handed me a curve ball. I realized that my family would always be close no matter the miles between us. A close family has nothing to do with geography. And probably the most valuable lesson I learned during the stress was a lesson of love. I learned that, when tested, a marriage can either crumble or become even stronger. I think about our love like a muscle. When you work it, test it, strain it, or even push it to uncomfortable limits, it increases in strengths and feels more prepared for future tests.
Eventually we had to make the decision to call off the plan and seek stability. We took our house off the market, Phil moved back to Grove City and started to work for M/I Homes again, and I began the job search in and around the Columbus area.
No, it is not what we had planned. But, I cannot help but think that God, of course, knows more than me. He guides me to situations that act as teachable moments. These situations are not always comfortable, fun, or even planned.
Perhaps I have been confused this entire time. I once thought that I was able to plan my life. If I worked hard, stayed true to myself and made decisons, life would go down the road I chose. How arrogant and overly-confident I have been! Through this experience I have found how truly helpless I am as a single human being. It is not that God refused to help me or turned a blind eye to my problems. And it wasn't that He ignored my prayers. Maybe He just doesn't have the same plan in mind. I don't always understand the reason or the meaning behind the plan, but in this instance, I think perhaps I was taught to be more appreciative and content in my simple, normal, everyday life.
